When people are separated in relationship it is usually two-way. There was hurt from one side or both. Pride from one side or both. Neglect from one side or both. Both people have distanced themselves. Eventually each side decides to stay separated. At least this seems to be the pattern. I’ll give that there are other possible scenarios. At any rate, it is never this way with God. God is always trying to close the gap. He’s always ready for reconciliation.

Does this matter? Of course! Salvation, and our very religion of Christianity is a relationship. Matthew 22:35-40 says, “One of them, a lawyer, asked Him {a question,} testing Him, ‘Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?’ And He said to him, ‘”YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.” This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, “YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.” On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.’” There is also John 17:3 which I previously wrote an article on “This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.”

If we throw out relationship with God we throw out salvation, purpose and Christianity. It is not just for the holy ones or the extra devoted ones. It’s all there is. Christianity is not just a belief. Christianity is simple, but it is more than a belief or an ability to say yes to something.

So what happens when people are separated from God? Who causes the separation? Historically it was the people. Adam and Eve were the first. They did it. God did not. They sinned and rejected God. God did not all of a sudden decide to distance Himself from them. The people at Noah’s time did it. God did not. It grieved God. “The LORD said, ‘I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, from man to animals to creeping things and to birds of the sky; for I am sorry that I have made them.’” (Genesis 6:7) The word “sorry” here is an out of breath grieving. That is not the action of a distant being or one who has given up on people. The relationship hurt. It’s the kind of grief we experience when relationships are torn apart – be it death or simply separations like divorce or fights.

The people of Israel did it. It was NOT God rejecting Israel. They rejected God and caused their separation. “‘Behold, days are coming,’ declares the LORD, ‘when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah, not like the covenant which I made with their fathers in the day I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, although I was a husband to them,’ declares the LORD.” (Jeremiah 31:31-32) God used the imagery of a marriage relationship to show His connection with Israel and to describe fully what it was like when they separated from Him – when they rejected Him.

“Now I will sing to my Beloved a song of my Beloved concerning His vineyard: My Beloved has a vineyard in a fruitful horn. And He dug it, and cleared it of stones, and planted it with the choicest vine, and built a tower in its midst, and also hewed out a wine vat in it. And He waited for it to produce grapes, but it produced rotten grapes. And now, O people of Jerusalem and men of Judah, I ask you, judge between Me and My vineyard. What more could have been done to My vineyard that I have not done in it? Who knows? I waited for it to yield grapes, but it yielded rotten grapes. And now I will make known to you what I will do then to My vineyard. I will take away its hedge, and it will be burned. I will breach its wall, and it will become a trampling ground. And I will lay it waste; it shall not be pruned nor hoed; but briers and thorns shall come up. And I will command the clouds from raining rain on it. For the vineyard of Jehovah of Hosts is the house of Israel, and the man of Judah is His delightful plant. And He waited for justice, but behold, bloodshed; for righteousness, but behold, a cry!” (Isaiah 5:1-7)

God said, “What more could be done to My vineyard that I have not done in it?” He expected good grapes because He had done everything He could to make that happen. He did His part and the people rejected Him.

So why? Why do people reject God? Why do they separate themselves from Him? Why did I when I was younger?

I think the first answer is stupidity. The next obvious thing is sin or selfishness. And finally I think it is a misunderstanding of God’s character. I am sure we could come up with several other reasons, but I want to focus on the fear and anger that results from misunderstanding God’s ways and actions.

“My voice rises to God, and I will cry aloud; My voice rises to God, and He will hear me. In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord; in the night my hand was stretched out without weariness; My soul refused to be comforted. When I remember God, then I am disturbed; when I sigh, then my spirit grows faint. You have held my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak. I have considered the days of old, the years of long ago. I will remember my song in the night; I will meditate with my heart, and my spirit ponders: Will the Lord reject forever? And will He never be favorable again? Has His loving kindness ceased forever? Has His promise come to an end forever? Has God forgotten to be gracious, or has He in anger withdrawn His compassion?” (Psalms 77:1-9)

I think this is often what causes people to be distant from God. They assess their situation. Horrible things have happened. People have died. Houses have burned. Cities have been flooded. Children rebelled against their parents and God. Diseases. Cancer. War. They ask why did it happen? But that is not where it ends. Nor is it the most important question. It does not get to the heart of things. I can talk “why” for hours with people. I can give smart answers as to how things work. I can even give some catchy answers and even some cliches. It will do close to nothing. People want a place to put the blame. They ask a lot of questions – all legitimate, some important:

God, why did you let this happen? God, where were you? Why me? God, did you do this?

Intelligent problems are not what separate relationships. My understanding of time or God’s omnipotence does not separate me from Him any more than the concepts of math or science do. The issue is relationship. I cannot be close to someone that I hate. I cannot be close to someone who I think is a murderer or a liar or an emotionless jerk.

The real question is not one we ask:

God, what are you like? Are you a God who does evil? Just like the psalmist said, “Have you forgotten to be gracious?”

We assume an answer and our actions and lives follow. We don’t care why it happened. What we say is that God caused it. If we assume He brought the evil upon us then we cannot logically maintain a love relationship with Him. Intelligence and survival says stay away from the things that hurt us.

God, is your character evil? God, do you kill? God, are you selfish? THESE ARE REAL QUESTIONS. They sound horrible, but if we want to really know the answer we can ask God. “Righteous are You, O LORD, that I would plead {my} case with You; Indeed I would discuss matters of justice with You: Why has the way of the wicked prospered? {Why} are all those who deal in treachery at ease?” (Jeremiah 12:1) God even invites us to reason with Him. “‘Come now, and let us reason together,’ Says the LORD, ‘Though your sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool.’” (Isaiah 1:18)

God is righteous. We can discuss matters of justice with Him. We can ask the hard questions of God. He does not reject us for asking. He does not ever answer, “because I said so” like we are used to hearing from people in authority over us. A close friend of mine knew a woman whose child had died. She was afraid to ask God why it happened because she thought He would take her other children away. It was because people had told her not to question God. But God is not like that. He answers our hard questions.

God, are you the reason my child is lost? Are you the reason my friend died so young? God, did you bring the famine in Africa? Ask these questions, but be willing to hear the answer. God’s answer will never be, “I can do what I want to. If I did it, it’s right.”

What makes God righteous? What makes God’s actions right? God’s actions are not right because He is God. His actions are right, because they are right. He is righteous, because He does what is right.

Ask Him the questions. He has done no wrong. He did not do evil. Don’t shove those questions under the rug because you are afraid of questioning Him. Discuss matters of justice with Him. He has done justly. In Genesis 18:25 Abraham asked, “Will not the judge of the earth do right?” The answer is yes! A big YES!!! God will deal justly. He deserves His role as judge because He deals justly. He has done no wrong. So think about those things that have driven you crazy for years. Think about the pain and the wrongs that have happened to you. Don’t just let yourself be distanced from God. He was not the one who did wrong.

Are you separated from God? It is not His fault. He has not wronged you. Deal with it. Deal with it quickly. Ask Him the hard questions. Come back to Him. James 4:8 “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” Do not let your misunderstandings separate you from God. Ask the hard questions. I guarantee that it was not His fault. Take the questions to God. Discuss matters of justice with Him. He will answer. He did not do evil.

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling.” (Matthew 23:37)

This is God’s heart for people. He so longs to draw us close to Him.