The apostle Peter closes his section on Godly relationships with this:

8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9  Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 10 For

“Whoever desires to love life
and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from speaking deceit;
11 let him turn away from evil and do good;
let him seek peace and pursue it.
12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
and his ears are open to their prayer.
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

13 Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? 14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, 15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, 16  having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. 17 For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.-1 Peter 3:8-17 (ESV)

Much consideration by many has been made on the verses immediately preceding this (1 Peter 3:1-7) in dealing with marital relationship.  In the section we will be discussing, Peter begins his discussion of suffering followers of Christ will endure as a result of their zeal for righteousness.  This can also be applied to the marriage relationship (and to all relationships, but the focus of this article will be on the spousal relationship).

Marriage is delicate.  The two members are forced to be with each other continuously.  Nerves fray, anger rises.  Forgiveness and grace are pivotal to a healthy relationship.  No person is perfect, and no person deserves grace.  But without unmerited favor, a relationship will self-destruct.  Love will cease, and separation may follow.

In the painful times, in the hardest of times, there is suffering.  Often, both parties suffer because both parties have wronged.  They have hurt one another.  The wounds become sensitive and in a desire to protect oneself, the other is often attacked.  This breeds more of the same.  They downward spiral is difficult to get off of when both are suffering.  Yet this is bad suffering.  This is suffering without the righteousness.

Peter is addressing a people that will suffer in their relationship to everyone in the world due to Christ.  Peter’s audience loves the Lord and they desire for righteousness.  Peter says that they will suffer.  This suffering of the early church was suffering unto death.  And the apostle Paul stated that he believed that their sufferings were incomparable to the glory of that righteousness of Christ which all believers will one day fully enjoy.  Peter says that it is actually good for a person to suffer for the cause of Christ.

The suffering in a troubled marriage is not the same as this, but it can be similar.  People in the United States do not suffer unto death for the cause of Christ.  But there is suffering to be had for Christ.

So how does one suffer in a troubled marriage for Christ?

Peter says to not repay evil for evil.  But he does not say to remain neutral in the situation.  He instructs us to bless when we are wronged.  We are to refrain from speaking evil of others, no matter what they have done to us.  We are not to curse one another, even if we are cursed.

When one member of a troubled marriage adopts the way of grace, forgiving and blessing instead of begrudging and harming, Christ is glorified and that member may suffer for a time.  It feels good to return evil for evil.  Not doing so can be one’s act of killing the flesh.  Doing what Christ calls us to do can bring pain and difficulty for a time.   But this act of grace, blessing instead of cursing, is true love.  This is essential to the health and vitality of a marriage.  It is living as Christ.  For Christ died in the act of blessing in the face of cursing.

So, this is pivotal in the daily small things of a marriage.  Adopting this lifestyle early in marriage strengthens the marriage enormously.  It is the very foundation to a marriage.  And it is never to late.  It will be quite difficult to do this if one’s marriage has not been defined by it.  It will be quite difficult as insults and accusations come and as the other partner is distancing.  There will be more suffering if the relationship is strained.  The one acting in grace will be tempted often to return evil for evil.  And if they do, it gratifies instantly.  But the bitter aftertaste of that never fades.  And blessing in return for evil hurts instantly, but the sweet taste is lasting.

“TURN AWAY FROM EVIL AND DO GOOD; SEEK PEACE AND PURSUE IT.” -Psalm 34:14

What are your thoughts?