It’s intersting to me that the word Endure has been stuck in my head for about five hours now. Sure I’m going through some very hard things right now. My husband is away from us doing military training, my son is sick because of surgery, and I’m living with my parents (which is rocky to say the least). But the word Endure has a lot of meaning for me.

The definition of the word

ENDURE:
to bear without resistance or with patience; tolerate. 

To have patience or bear without resistance that’s extremely hard to do especially with God. We seem to expect him to work like Burger King our way right away but sadly we are so wrong to even think that way. I was reading about Hannah today and her story about wanting her son is astounding. It’s a story I’ve read a million times but today new light was shed.

1 Samuel 1:10-16

10And [Hannah] was in distress of soul, praying to the Lord and weeping bitterly.11She vowed, saying, O Lord of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your handmaid and [earnestly] remember, and not forget Your handmaid but will give me a son, I will give him to the Lord all his life; no razor shall touch his head.12And as she continued praying before the Lord, Eli noticed her mouth.13Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved but her voice was not heard. So Eli thought she was drunk. 14Eli said to her, How long will you be intoxicated? Put wine away from you.15But Hannah answered, No, my lord, I am a woman of a sorrowful spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I was pouring out my soul before the Lord.16Regard not your handmaid as a wicked woman; for out of my great complaint and bitter provocation I have been speaking.

How Hannah must have longed for a child. How she must have Endured with people in that day and age where children were a blessing she remained childless. How the women of that time probably gossiped about what she had done to wrong the Lord. How she must have endured the interal questions of why can’t I have a child, Lord what have I done? I can’t imagine considering back in those days households invovled themselves with each other constantly how she must have felt.

So she goes to pour out her heart and soul to the Lord. She’s praying to herself because heavens knows if she had prayed out loud the noise that probably would have come out of her. upon watching her for a minute Eli comes up and assumes she’s drunk. This I find funny because we as women are capable of emotions so extreme they can literally cause sleepless nights, physical pain, and unfocus. So in my thoughts she’s probably holding it together pretty well. She then says no I’m not drunk I’m simply pouring out my heart to the Lord. Eli must have stepped back thinking Wow just for a moment.

I wonder if we would do the same thing or would we expect a Burger King response? I would like to think that I would take my deepest longings to the Lord and trust him with them. Then go along Enduring because I know the Lord had my problems.  Sadly I’m one of the people that lays her burdens down then says wait.. Picks them back up because I lack trust in God. I don’t Endure with God. I Endure alone. The biggest differences in my attitude are Joy, patience, love and a Focused mind. The answer is so simple pour out my soul to God then walk way knowing there is noone else that can handle them but him.

So my prayer today is Lord teach me to Endure with you. Help me trust you with my marriage, my sick child, my well child, my desires and my time.