Moving can be such a frustration! When we moved across town recently, who knew it would take (and to quote Dave Barry, “I am not making this up”) six weeks to get our old phone number transferred to our new address. I said in last month’s post regarding testing, “Let it rain.” Well, the Lord’s been faithful! I’ll spare you the details. Suffice it to say that one supervisor at the telephone company declared she’d never seen such a tangle. After numerous delays and crossed wires, it seemed appropriate to ask the Lord what He was doing. (Not “What in the world couldYou possibly be doing here?” though I might have been tempted, but the tried and true “Lord I’m sure You must be in this; help me to see.”

Clearly the first thing required was the fruit of the spirit: gentleness . . . kindness . . . longsuffering . . . (arrrgh!) self-control. My success or failure there is visible not only in heaven, but apparently also in some cyber-vault because each of the 2640 times I called (and yes, I am making that up, but it seems only a slight exaggeration) I was told “this call may be recorded for quality assurance.” So, patience, kindness, self-control. But what else did the Lord want?

As those of you who read my last post will know, God has been working Mark 4:35 – 41 into my soul. One day as I began to make yet another call regarding our phone service, or rather the lack of it, I paused to ask God for success. I was keenly aware that while it was proving impossible to find anyone at the other end of the telephone line who was both concerned to address the problem and powerful enough to do so, I was praying to the Lord God who is both. It is the essential dynamic of this passage in Mark. Jesus is sleeping soundly in the boat as the disciples fear that the storm will annihilate them. “Don’t you care?” they ask. Jesus rises and proves both his love and his power. In my prayer I was trying to operate within the reality of Mark 4:39 as I understood it, that the Lord of the universe could answer my prayer, calm my storm with a word – all loving, all powerful Jesus. As I prayed for success, I wanted God’s kingdom of order and peace to supercede my circumstance – my phone line to be specific.

However, as I asked the Lord what He was doing, He made it clear that the action point here did not yet concern my circumstance. His will was not that He invade my kingdom, but that I immigrate to His. My prayer became, “Lord, you are my Lord. I don’t know why we’re having this difficulty. I’d like it fixed. But I sense that you desire to do a greater work in my heart. What ever it is, do it, Lord Jesus.”

As I reconsidered these verses in Mark, it occurred to me that the disciples approached Jesus in accordance with their own kingdom. “Lord, do this; do that; comfort me; help me bail water.” But Jesus answers the disciples in accordance with His kingdom – He supernaturally silences the storm. What remarkable grace that He answers from the provisions of His kingdom and not theirs.

How often does He answer us in the same way, but we don’t have the wisdom to see it. Or worse, does He ever comply with our wishes and answer from the poverty of our own kingdoms? I think of the quail in the desert. God’s will was the supernatural manna, but the Israelites wanted meat. God gave them meat, and they choked on it. I think of the Pharisees praying on the street corners. Jesus makes clear that they have their reward, the praise of men rather than the approbation of God. It is terribly sobering to think of the ways my life has been impoverished because I was determined that God answer me according to my kingdom. How blessed that He has often answered the prayer I should have prayed and not the one I did pray. I’m struck with how earth-bound I am.

Psalm 119:35-37 has special meaning here: “Make me walk in the path of Your commandments . . . Incline my heart to Your testimonies, and not to selfish gain, Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things . . . .” (my emphasis). How the psalmist understands our need of God’s intervention to choose the eternal over the temporal, the spiritual over the carnal! Interestingly, it was at least two weeks after this prayer of mine before the Lord addressed the circumstance that prompted it and restored our full phone service. He was still inclining my heart, no doubt, turning my eyes. And I am thankful. Oh the blessed, frustrating, wonderful, difficult disruptions of the ultimate move, our immigration into God’s kingdom.

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